Returning home

As many of you know, I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico. For those of you who do not know, that simply means that for a period of 18 months, I left my home to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I returned only a few short months ago and wish to recap what that experience was like. I will also include some of the many life changing experiences that occurred during my time spent in this service. 

There are no true words that describe what it is like to wake up in the morning living life one way, and then waking up the next to all new surroundings and circumstances. It is near impossible to paint an accurate picture of these emotions. 

Although difficult, returning home was just another trial of faith. My 18 months of missionary work had been full of them, but I would be dishonest to say that the adjustment was nothing I couldn't  handle. I more than admit that it WAS more that I could handle and that without the Savior I would not have endured.  

For me, there were many reasons why this transition was difficult. I dealt with the same things that are common among returned missionaries such as, struggling to find purpose, being alone, feeling useless and missing the joy of constant missionary work. There were also personal factors. Without going into much detail, it will suffice to say that I was dealing with some health issues that were affecting my thyroid and my hormones. This is nothing new, I have been on medication to help with my thyroid for years, but more unbalanced than I had ever been, I struggled very much to see the light in my life and the hope in my future. I have never gone through a darker time. 

 In the beginning I was not aware that these drastic changes to my personality were not entirely my fault. We had not yet discovered my decreasing health condition until months later. For that reason, I felt powerless and enslaved by the depressing emotions that were ruling my life.

I will never forget the countless hours spent on my knees pleading with God to know why it had to be so hard and asking him to help me understand. I felt confused at the fact that not only did I not recognize my new life, but I did not even recognize myself. I had become negative, needy and faithless. 

With the help of a loving Heavenly Father, my family and good friends, I started learning to deal with these issues. I finally started to apply the things that I taught so many people in Puerto Rico. I had the opportunity to become more converted to Jesus Christ. 

Now, lets fast forward to October, almost 6 months after returning home. I was able to visit a doctor who could understand my condition and provide relief. Through medication he would be able to restore my body to balance. Shortly after receiving my prescription, a miracle happened. On October 10th, 2016 I laughed all day with my coworkers. That may seem insignificant, but to me it was as if the clouds were parting after a destructive storm. For the first time in months I lasted an entire day without tears and I went to bed with a smile. 

At this point of the entry, you're probably thinking "why is she sharing all of this" and the truth is, I don't really know. Part of me just wants a record of my experience, other parts of me want this to help someone else, inspire, and/or just let people get to know me a little bit better. So, whatever this may have done for you, if it did anything at all, I do wish that you at least remember this:

Jesus Christ lives. The reason I testify of that is because of what it means. Because he lives it means that no matter how gloomy life gets, there is always hope. It means that if my problems are not solved in this life, that I have God's promise that they will be in the next. Although I was experiencing extreme emotional discomfort, I could still have peace. That peace is given to all who believe in the Him. 

Yours truly,

Morg